Red wine is not only for ladies. It is a valuable drink to get rid of some headspinning. Mind collapsing. Hard thinking. Mental whirlwind. Directing thoughts into a specific direction.
Sometimes I am not sure where all my thoughts emerge from. Sometimes I think I think too much. And there are so many different thoughts I think. Proudness. Fear. Relaxing. Drang und Sturm. Sex. Drinks. Business improvements. World changing. What the fuck! So much! At the end it’s all kind of madness. Huh? Or not?
I am in a phase where I often think about rest and changing something. But on the other hand the fun I have with Fanblast is incredibly cool. Crazy people in a crazy world. I love them. They are my new family. I strongly believe in what we do. We only need to hit the goal. And that’s a thing.
I remember the same situation I had with my band Skeletor at the bands end. We recorded a hammer second album (Hellfire Rock Machine) and the fucking record company had nothing better to do as sniffing all the money through the nose. Dick heads! But then another label’s owner crossed mine and my best friends and bass player Thorben’s line during a Motörhead concert in Hamburg. He said he knows we had something and he wanted to have it for a new label he was creating called GO NUTS. Fast forward we signed the deal. Awesome. But the fact was this: the band did not exist anymore because two years before I took over the management and tried to find a new label. We organised a promo tour withe the help of our business manager Frankie. It was cool but it was also a fight. I believed in it. The singer did not. And the result was the split. We still signed the contract with GO NUTS, reunioned and became friends again (what was the most important thing for me) and played the last ever show as the CD release party and farewell! It was still a defeat for me personally!
I don’t want that loss ever again. I am happy enough to have a lot of good years during my carreer. SinnerScharder was cool. sum.cumo was awesome and ground breaking. And now I am at Fanblast giving all I have. But still …
there is …
some sort of …
fear.
The bad word. The ugly word. The unloved child that is always there during my entiere life.
It’s ok to know it exists. But it’s also an asshole!
So now - what’s the situation? I believe in the product! I believe in the team! We have good talks with VC’s (especially good with one from Cologne)! We now need a result and we need the god damned fuckin’ money to proof everyone our idea is great and that it will succeed! If that does not happen it will be very hard. Sure, there is always a plan B. But the plan A is always what you wanna do! Always! Fucking always!
Over the last years I was lucky to experience many different situations in business. I had a lot of high heart rates. I had a lot of fun and I was lucky enough to always have been surrounded by a very awesome family (hello Julia, Anika, Tatjana, Esther, Björn, Luigi, Christoph, Haui, Eric, Moritz, Chris, Jeff, Anna, Michael, Dirk, Lasse, Daniel, Svenja, Franzi, Christopher, Sven, Jens, Eric!). They always had been my safety net. I learned a lot and I learned a very important lesson: as long as no one dies - there is not a problem that is not handable! Read again! Please! It’s the only truth. Business is virtual - not real life. Trust me!
In our culture and in our 1st world the thing that counts is: money. But money does not make you happy! As my beloved dad always said: “Money is shit - but it gives you a soothing feeling.” Exactly! But nothing more. It fuckin’ does not make you happy! It’s a necessary evil. Nothing more.
So when elaborating on this in this post, I have to rethink my claim about fear. Why is there fear at all? (Cool - listening to Seether: “Fuck me like you hate me!”). The fear stems solely from the fact that I could “loose something”. But what could I loose? Money? Fuck it! Because as I said before - money is a necessary evil. So I am loosing a necessary evil? Ha ha - that’s simply ridiculous! So that means: even when Fanblast does not work and I can’t work there anymore, and even when I would not be able to find another job in my salary range and even when I would not be able to find a job AT FUCKING ALL - it would not make me unhappy! Q.E.D!
That means I rise my glas of red wine and am happy - because there is no need to fear anything at all!
Minde changed!